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Teens - Dating Violence

Red Flags

The stories below describe relationships, some displaying “red flags” or warning signs that the person may be abusive.  Decide which ones are “red flags”.  Place an “R” for “red flag” or “N” for “not” (not a red flag) before the statement.

 




#1






______

Boyfriend tells his girlfriends he loves her very much.  They don’t get to see each other very much during the week.  He wants her to spend all her weekend free time with him and cancel any plans she has with her friends.  She doesn’t want to but does because she is flattered by his attention.  This next weekend the same thing happens.

Answer
   

 

 
 


#2




______

A teenage girl is constantly on the phone with her boyfriend.  She says she is miserable when she is not with him.  She has given up almost all contact with her friends except at school.

Answer
   

 

 
 




#3






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A young man has invited his girlfriend to a special event that is very important to him.  She has plans with her girlfriends but they are not doing anything special.  She decides she will go to the special event with her boyfriend.  He is pleased that she is going with him.  The next weekend she spends with her friends.

Answer
   

 

 
 



#4





______

A girl is teasing her boyfriend.  She says something that really pushes a button.  He becomes embarrassed an upset.  He asks her to stop.  She continues, telling him it is no big deal and he shouldn’t be so defensive over nothing.

Answer
   

 

 
 



#5





______

A young man buys his girlfriend a pager for her birthday.  He tells her he loves her so much he wants to be able to contact her anytime.  He begins to page her at least once an hour and gets really furious if she doesn’t immediately call him.

Answer
   

 

 
 




#6






______

A teenage girl’s new boyfriend tells offensive and insulting jokes about women.  He is constantly belittling women in general.  When she confronts him about it, he says she is being overly sensitive and silly.  He tells her he doesn’t think she is like other women.  She is different and shouldn’t feel insulted by what he says.

Answer
   

 

 
 


#7




______

A young man feels he really loves his girlfriend and thinks he wants to have sex with her.  They discuss the issue.  She says she loves him, too, but is not ready for sex.  He respects that.  They decide to wait.

Answer
   

 

 
 


#8




______

Another couple has a discussion about sex.  He tells her he loves her so much he doesn’t want to wait.  He tells her if she loved him as much as he loved her, she would want to have sex with him.

Answer
   

 

 
 





#9







______

A young man sees his girlfriend in the hallway at school talking to another young man.  He gets really angry and punches his locker.  Then he interrupts the two of them, grabs her arm and pulls his girlfriend outside.  He pushes her against a wall while yelling at her.  She starts to cry.  He apologizes, saying that if she didn’t make him so jealous and mad, he wouldn’t get so upset.

Answer
   

 

 
 


#10




______

The next day the young lady in the scenario above sees her boyfriend talking to another girl.  She is curious and asks who it is.  He tells her it is none of her business.  He will talk to whomever he pleases.

Answer

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Answers:

#1 - Healthy relationships should be supportive and encouraging. To be isolated with one person, even if you care and love them, is not healthy. A person needs to have relationships with family members, friends and co-workers. Next question #2

#2 - Making your partner feel responsible for your feelings is not healthy. To give up contact with friends and family is not healthy. A person in a healthy relationship needs to have other relationships besides with their partner. Next question #3

#3 - A great example of what makes a healthy relationship. Healthy relationshiops should be supportive and encouraging. Next question #4

#4 - Each person in a relationship should be able to tell another how they feel and not have that used against them. Each person's feelings should be acknowledged and respected. Next question #5

#5 - Trust is important in any relationship. Giving someone a pager and reacting in anger is not a sign of trust. Next question #6

#6 - Talking bad about another's gender, race sexual orientation and minimizing someone's feeling and discrediting another's feeling are red flags that you may be in an unhealthy relationship. Respect for others is of great importance in a healthy relationship. Next question #7

#7 - Respecting each other's decision is a sign of a healthy relationship. Each person in a relationship has the right to decide when they are ready for sexual relations. Next question #8

#8 - Not respecting each other's decision is a red flag in a relationship. Each person in a relationship has the right to decide when they are ready for sexual relations. Next question #9

#9 - Physical abuse is never okay. Jealousy and anger are big red flags that you may be in an abusive relationship. If you are in an abusive relationship, call our hotline at 1-800-682-4547 to learn how to safely get out of your abusive relationship. Or follow this link to learn more about safety plans. Next question #10

#10 - In a healthy relationship there are not different rules for each person. Relationships should be equal with open communication. Top of page or Teen Dating Violence Main


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