- Does your partner monitor your time and make you account for every minute (when you run errands, visit friends, commute to work, etc.)?
- Does your significant other constantly call, text or check up on you?
- Do you need permission from your significant other to do things?
- Does your partner accuse you of having affairs with others or act suspicious that you are?
- Does your partner ever discourage you from having friendships?
- Is your significant other jealous of your other friends?
- Do you ever feel isolated and alone, as if there is no one close to confide in?
- Is your partner overly critical of daily things, such as your cooking, clothes, or appearance?
- Does your partner demand a strict account of how you spend your money?
- Do your partner’s moods change radically, from very calm to very angry?
- Does your significant other call you insulting names or humiliate you?
- Does your partner become more easily angry if he/she drinks?
- Does your partner pressure you for sex more often than you’d like?
- Does your partner strike you with his/her hands, feet or objects?
- Does your partner ever threaten you with an object or weapon?
- Has your partner ever threatened to kill either himself/herself or you?
- Does your partner ever give you visible injuries (such as welts, bruises, cuts and/or lumps)?
- Is your partner ever violent toward children?
- Does your partner ever throw objects or break things when he/she is angry?
- Does your partner put you down in front of others?
- Does your partner injure your pets intentionally?
- Do you “walk on eggshells” or feel afraid around him or her?
If you answer yes to any of these questions, you may want to consider leaving this relationship. Abuse usually gets worse over time, not better. It’s important to remember that domestic violence crosses all economic, social, gender, age and racial boundaries…no one is immune.
Domestic violence is the use of abusive, controlling, and/or violent behavior among people who are married, living together, or have an ongoing or prior intimate relationship. This behavior can be any combination of physical, sexual, emotional, or psychological control. This may involve the use of threats of violence to control another’s behavior. Domestic violence may begin with verbal or mental abuse, eventually escalating to physical abuse, which can lead to permanent injury or even death. Once someone has been hit, the frequency and severity of the abuse is likely to increase over time.
Abusers often use power and control tactics over their partners, such as criticism, mind games, blaming, and economic control. This may result in a feeling of isolation, dependency, low self esteem, and a general feeling of “craziness”. A person may feel trapped in their situation out of fear of future attacks, lack of family support, little understanding from people around them, limited financial resources, but at the same time may still want their relationship to work out.
Contact a member of our staff if you would like to talk about your situation. You are not alone, and we can help.